Bud Light presents: Real Men of Genius! Real Men of Genius.
Today we salute you, Social Justice Warrior... Social Justice Waaaaaaaaahrriors!
You scour the bowels of the internet, looking for something everyone else takes for the mundane and somehow make it offensive. Then you take the offensive and try to make it mundane... Did you just assume our gender?
Some random dude sitting normally is a micro-aggression of the white male patriarchy, but ten-year-olds stripping in gay bars is beautiful progress. Wax my lady balls, you bigot!
You take on this burden of knowledge not because you want to but because you need to, and also to prove your masters degree in Gender Studies wasn't a colossal waste. Mom and Dad's money well spent!
So here's to you, #HashtagSJW, for attacking anyone who doesn't hold your fringe ideas. Because if there's one thing we all need, it's more violent self-righteous outrage. Mr. uh Ms. uh "them" Social Justice Waaaaaaaaahrriors!