My Son Is Being Recruited Please Help Me

[My3Sons]

One of my sons is currently being heavily recruited by a few D1 schools for football as an athlete. He currently has two offers with two more probably coming this week. For those of you with experience here (because I have none), what questions do you ask, or factors do you use to determine what school is best for him? My primary question is what percentage of your players get their degrees? I, as many fathers, feel he has a chance to play in the NFL one day. I realize that this is wishful thinking and that so many things will have to go just right for this to happen. The most important thing is for him to get his education and graduate, but don't you have to factor in which school is going to give him the best opportunity to be drafted into the overall equation? If so how do you do this? Any and all serious help will be greatly appreciated here.

[rollbama]

One of my sons is currently being heavily recruited by a few D1 schools for football as an athlete. He currently has two offers with two more probably coming this week. For those of you with experience here (because I have none), what questions do you ask, or factors do you use to determine what school is best for him? My primary question is what percentage of your players get their degrees? I, as many fathers, feel he has a chance to play in the NFL one day. I realize that this is wishful thinking and that so many things will have to go just right for this to happen. The most important thing is for him to get his education and graduate, but don't you have to factor in which school is going to give him the best opportunity to be drafted into the overall equation? If so how do you do this? Any and all serious help will be greatly appreciated here.

I know your concern but the first thing you must remember is that they are wanting him not the Dad. I'm not saying this to be smart but he has to go where he is comfortable, he is the one that has to choose. Now I'm not saying that you should not do all you can do to make him understand the real importance here is his education. When the coaches start talking to him ,you and him both can see who is honest and who is not. I have been thru this and you have to look these recruiters in the eye and let them know that you are expecting them to hold up on their end of the bargain if your sons holds his end up. As far as the NFL, I don't know your son and I'm sure he is a great ball player, but you have to remember if he does not make it and I,m not saying he won't, but he has the rest of his life to make a living for himself and his family so with this I would want him to go to the school that will push him to be the best ball player that he can be, but also will make his education top priority.

[GoBigBlue]

He needs to have a good understanding of what he wants to be in life outside of sports. This is the most important thing when it comes to his education. I personally wanted to be an engineer/architect when I went to Tech many years ago. When I got there they had my schedule picked out for me and it wasn't with engineering in mind. So be selective when it comes back to you. I had the oppurtunity to go to some more academically accepted schools and didn't give them the time of day. Big mistake on my part and my parents. One skiing accident later no more football.

[z2t4]

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! Good luck to your son.

[sawboss]

From my personal experience as a player and Coach advising High School recruits, I always say choose a school you want to be at and graduate from if athletics were taken away tomorrow. Keep in mind that distance from home and family are one of the major pitfalls of young adults entering college and reasons for not suceeding. The title of student/athlete still applies to them and many get caught up in the whirlwind of practice and social activities available. The athlete also needs to understand that once you sign the dotted line and step on campus the honeymoon is over and Coaches sometimes take on different personalities. Have fun with the process and base the decision on the maturity level of your son and his ability to grow on his own.

[GoBigBlue]

You got that right. When I got to my first practice the varsity players asked each one of us lineman who recruited them. I told them Coach Clayton, and they said, "Oh Sarge!". I couldn't understand why they would call him that. He was the nicest most polite man I had met. Then I heard him. He was the Defensive Tackle coach and after the first week almost every player had quit because of his antics.

[My3Sons]

I know your concern but the first thing you must remember is that they are wanting him not the Dad. I'm not saying this to be smart but he has to go where he is comfortable, he is the one that has to choose. Now I'm not saying that you should not do all you can do to make him understand the real importance here is his education. When the coaches start talking to him ,you and him both can see who is honest and who is not. I have been thru this and you have to look these recruiters in the eye and let them know that you are expecting them to hold up on their end of the bargain if your sons holds his end up. As far as the NFL, I don't know your son and I'm sure he is a great ball player, but you have to remember if he does not make it and I,m not saying he won't, but he has the rest of his life to make a living for himself and his family so with this I would want him to go to the school that will push him to be the best ball player that he can be, but also will make his education top priority.

 

I agree with everything you have written and will probably get a lot of flack for my next statement. If all of these are top notch schools, will it matter which he gets a degree from? Yes, getting his education is the most important part of this entire process. This is why I ask what percentage of their players graduate, what are their tutoring programs like, etc. Your last statement was EXACTLY what I want. What do I do to figure it out though? Thanks so much for your help.

[My3Sons]

From my personal experience as a player and Coach advising High School recruits, I always say choose a school you want to be at and graduate from if athletics were taken away tomorrow. Keep in mind that distance from home and family are one of the major pitfalls of young adults entering college and reasons for not suceeding. The title of student/athlete still applies to them and many get caught up in the whirlwind of practice and social activities available. The athlete also needs to understand that once you sign the dotted line and step on campus the honeymoon is over and Coaches sometimes take on different personalities. Have fun with the process and base the decision on the maturity level of your son and his ability to grow on his own.

Thanks so much. The realization of "the honeymoon is over" is something I have been worried about, but was also aware of. All I want is for them to give him the opportunity to prove himself as they are promising. Should he go to an SEC school that is not nationally ranked because they get so much exposure in that conference or should he go to a team in a weaker conference that is ranked in the top 10? Then there is the possibility of going to a smaller D1 in a weak conference where he has a chance to shine early. Now here is the hard part, how do we figure out which is better for him academically? Should he make this entire decision based on what school is best for his major? This is absolutely his decision to make but he is being sold by all the recruiters that their program is the best for him. He is young and impressionable and I feel obligated to at least give him my thoughts. I do not want to do this without knowing how to give him the best info that I can.

[RickyTheNatureBoyFlair]

Thanks so much. The realization of "the honeymoon is over" is something I have been worried about, but was also aware of. All I want is for them to give him the opportunity to prove himself as they are promising. Should he go to an SEC school that is not nationally ranked because they get so much exposure in that conference or should he go to a team in a weaker conference that is ranked in the top 10? Then there is the possibility of going to a smaller D1 in a weak conference where he has a chance to shine early. Now here is the hard part, how do we figure out which is better for him academically? Should he make this entire decision based on what school is best for his major? This is absolutely his decision to make but he is being sold by all the recruiters that their program is the best for him. He is young and impressionable and I feel obligated to at least give him my thoughts. I do not want to do this without knowing how to give him the best info that I can.

 

First, forget the NFL there is too much that has to go right for that to happen. That is not a knock on your child but dont go in with those expectations. If it happens great if not he needs something to fall back on. Go to the best school that offers the most "free education" if he gets a degree and owes very little to no money, he is way ahead of the game. You are right about the recruiters dont fall in love with them. Their job is to get him in with the lowest possible commitment from the school. Remember its a business get what you can from them because they will get all they can from yall. Keep it all in perspective. No body knows or cares more about your child than you.

[Dawgman]

First, forget the NFL there is too much that has to go right for that to happen. That is not a knock on your child but dont go in with those expectations. If it happens great if not he needs something to fall back on. Go to the best school that offers the most "free education" if he gets a degree and owes very little to no money, he is way ahead of the game. You are right about the recruiters dont fall in love with them. Their job is to get him in with the lowest possible commitment from the school. Remember its a business get what you can from them because they will get all they can from yall. Keep it all in perspective. No body knows or cares more about your child than you.

 

And make sure they have the major your son wants. Education is for a lifetime where a freak injury could end the playing at any time. Tell him to work hard have fun and get a FREE education or as close to free as possible.

[Switchblade]

Pick a school that is very good academically and is strong in what he wants to major in. The education is the most important factor

[GrannysNephew]

He will spend 95% of his time with his position coach. After he factors in academics/location/etc. tell him to research the position coaches of the schools hes interested in. In college most can do whatever they want to as far as cussing/berating. Have him try and find out about this as much as possible. There will be two coaches he will spend almost all of his athletic time with - position coach and strength coach.

Good luck

[Agdad]

My3sons: Check your PM.

[TheShadowKnows]

Lots of good advice on here, and one thing that helped me as a player was we had a guy who was not a part of the school but would show up once or twice a week and give us popsicles or watermellon after practice and even said if we went to church with him he would fix us a steak dinner at his house afterwards I ended up getting married in that little church. Moral of the story is the little things that will make the biggest diffrence, like developing discipline is one of the most important lessons that most NCAA athletes can use for their future careers. That is because, for most college athletes, their future jobs will have nothing to do with the sport that dominates so much of their time in college.

[PantherPower]

Lot of good stuff. My advice to my daughter, and to all the kids I've coached so far that had this kind of opportunity:

 

1. Go to the school where you think you will STAY! Nothing else really matters if you're going to quit and go home because it is (fill in the blank). I've had kids quit because of: too close/far from home, missed their boy/girl friend, didn't have enough money, class was too hard, going to class was too hard, hated their coach, coach got fired-hated the new coach, coach took a better job-hated the new coach/new coach didn't want them b/c they were brought in by old coach. Granted, many of these are in the hands of the athlete, but they are things SOMEONE should talk to them about BEFORE they go. Above all, it should be a place that they feel like they would stay (and can afford!) for school if they not no longer CAN, or no longer WANT to play.

 

2. Go where you feel like they want YOU, not just whatever it is your ability is.

 

3. Go where there is an OBVIOUS emphasis on academics. EX: My daughter visited several schools, unofficialy and officially. We cut out the private schools that were interested because of #1 above. I am a coach and my wife doesn't make a lot of money. There is no way we can help her stay in school at TCU, SMU, Georgetown, etc.(all schools that were interested in her visiting them) if she decides "soccer just isn't for me anymore." Do I THINK that will happen? No. COULD it?? Of Course!! She picked Troy University in Alabama, among other reasons, b/c they were the FIRST school she visited that took her to the academic advisory building, admittance lecture, and department she wants to major in BEFORE they talked to her about soccer. Everywhere else, the first stops were the gamefield, or the new practice facility, or the dorm, or whatever. Then usually a 5 min. talk from admissions counsellor, then the hard sell. I was honestly starting to wonder if she would go at all b/c she was so discouraged with the process.

 

4. If in the paramaters of the above, but more than one school fits, THEN I would move on to things like which of them has the better department for your major (and there are rankings ALL OVER the place for that, just hit up the internet), which coach has the better "prestige", which conference is more competitive, etc, etc. IMO, you can't bet on playing at another level up. And even if you were gonna try, look at the NFL website. There are players form ALL OVER the nation in the NFL. Not JUST from the SEC, Big XII, etc. Hell there are guys in the NFL who only went to JUCO! A lot of whether or not a guy plays in the NFL is completely arbitray. Luck, combined with training, combined with need by a particular team, minus the amount of available players at the position, you can go on and on...Long story short, DO NOT bet on making money playing sports!

 

5.MAKE SURE you understand WHAT they are offering. Schools are not required to give "full" ride athletic scholarships to ANYONE. They have a certain # for each sport depending on the size and classification of the school, and can split them up however they want. My wife and I, as well as my daughter were VERY clear with every coach we met with that she MUST be on a FULL ride: academics, housing, books, and food. They can do that A LOT of ways. For example, my daughter, as far as the NCAA is concerned is a "half" scholarship player athletically. The other half of the cost for her education comes from academics, "need-based" scholarships (if you are "poor", you can get a lot of these, and being a coach with 3 kids qualifies as "poor" in a lot of places, apparently! LOL), and grants. NONE of her package is loans. We also made it clear that wasn't an option. We didn't want her coming out of school with a huge debt, like I did. Make sure you pay attention to WHAT is being offered!!!!!

 

6. Keep in mind, you probably WON'T get everything you want. You have to find the place that has the MOST things you want. In my daughter's case, she wanted to be closer to home, but almost everything else was what she wanted. When she was young, she was determined to go to North Carolina. But she went there and played some tournaments in the winter, and guess what?? It SNOWS in North Carolina! That was a DEAL BREAKER for her! (I know, I know, but hey, see #1. I don't see any point in getting a kid to go somewhere they won't be happy!!) Her program is rising, but not established. On the other hand, her coach is young and energetic and a disciplinarian, something she prefers. The weather is pretty much identical to what she has lived in her whole life. To me, it's a great thing there are so many schools, because the most people can find the closest fit for them that way.

 

Good luck to you and your son. Oh, and I haven't seen anyone ask this: Isn't his H.S. coach helping you guys with any of this?? If not, he certainly should be. But I have seen places where that did not happen, so I'd understand if not. Again, good luck and keep us posted!

[Rubthebelly]

3sons Check your personal messages

[rollbama]

I agree with everything you have written and will probably get a lot of flack for my next statement. If all of these are top notch schools, will it matter which he gets a degree from? Yes, getting his education is the most important part of this entire process. This is why I ask what percentage of their players graduate, what are their tutoring programs like, etc. Your last statement was EXACTLY what I want. What do I do to figure it out though? Thanks so much for your help.

 

3Sons, good luck to you and your son on where ever he decides to go. I know your concern and it is a tough call anytime kids and parents are in this position. Do as we did as parents facing this same thing 7 years ago. Pray and ask for God's guidance in his choice and things will work out for you and your son. They worked out for our child and she had a great career in her sport and also got a good education. We were blessed as was our daughter.

[SaberTooth]

Don't mean to make light of your situation, it is the most important decision that you and your son has made since he was born. Having said that "IF" he has the grades the military academys are a no brainier. As a father, the first thing that comes to your mind is that they will take my son away from me and put him in a war somewhere, where he will get killed. Two things: Your son is going to be taken away from you no matter where he goes so you can throw that out. Second, Navy or Air Force is a lot safer than the Army, that's all I can tell you about that but think about it for a minute. Now what's best for your son, "IF" he is good enough to play pro ball and he signs with a pro team after his senior year he spends two years with the military and then can go play pro. I really can't speak for all the academys but this is what the AFA does and I would think the others would be pretty close to the AFA, you would just have to check it out. Remember that's a big "IF" though about 2% of college players go to the pros and then half of those get cut in the first two weeks. It gets really good after that though. I'll just give you a taste. No matter where your kid goes on the planet whether it's his business or the academy he gets 100% coverage no matter what he has done, that's heath and dental, FACT. He gets an education that is right up there with the Ivy leagues top ten in the country, FACT. He is guarantee a job after graduation for five years that pay anywhere from 40 to 60 thousand a year, Fact. If at any time he can't play football anymore for whatever reason even if he quits, he doesn't lose his top 10 education It's paid, FACT. They pay him while he goes to school there from day one, about 900.00 a month, FACT. Food, drink, clothes, shoes, bed sheets, furniture, comp all paid, FACT. They even give him a 1000.00 limit on a visa card that he is responsible to pay back, He starts to build his credit the first week he is there, FACT. If at any time he wants to leave and go home for the first two years, doesn't like it, whatever, he can leave with no strings attached and keep about 80 hours of credit to finish his education some where else, FACT. I almost forgot he gets all that and gets to play D 1 football. That's not even half of it. No brainier.

[JUSTwannaSAY2u]

make sure he is commiting to a university...not a coach.

[NDNJOE]

Don't mean to make light of your situation, it is the most important decision that you and your son has made since he was born. Having said that "IF" he has the grades the military academys are a no brainier. As a father, the first thing that comes to your mind is that they will take my son away from me and put him in a war somewhere, where he will get killed. Two things: Your son is going to be taken away from you no matter where he goes so you can throw that out. Second, Navy or Air Force is a lot safer than the Army, that's all I can tell you about that but think about it for a minute. Now what's best for your son, "IF" he is good enough to play pro ball and he signs with a pro team after his senior year he spends two years with the military and then can go play pro. I really can't speak for all the academys but this is what the AFA does and I would think the others would be pretty close to the AFA, you would just have to check it out. Remember that's a big "IF" though about 2% of college players go to the pros and then half of those get cut in the first two weeks. It gets really good after that though. I'll just give you a taste. No matter where your kid goes on the planet whether it's his business or the academy he gets 100% coverage no matter what he has done, that's heath and dental, FACT. He gets an education that is right up there with the Ivy leagues top ten in the country, FACT. He is guarantee a job after graduation for five years that pay anywhere from 40 to 60 thousand a year, Fact. If at any time he can't play football anymore for whatever reason even if he quits, he doesn't lose his top 10 education It's paid, FACT. They pay him while he goes to school there from day one, about 900.00 a month, FACT. Food, drink, clothes, shoes, bed sheets, furniture, comp all paid, FACT. They even give him a 1000.00 limit on a visa card that he is responsible to pay back, He starts to build his credit the first week he is there, FACT. If at any time he wants to leave and go home for the first two years, doesn't like it, whatever, he can leave with no strings attached and keep about 80 hours of credit to finish his education some where else, FACT. I almost forgot he gets all that and gets to play D 1 football. That's not even half of it. No brainier.

 

I don't think your son should consider what's safer if he goes to USMA, USNA, USAFA, or and BIG 12 School. You can be walking around any campus in America and something can happen. If your son is interested in one of the Military Acadamies he should visit which ever one he is interested in. They are all great schools, I am partial to the one that was ranked #1 next by US World Report.

[sackem]

Transportation to practice?

What kind of car, can be a truck?