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Backwater Mafia


franksnbeans

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We used to have a school day set aside in honor of the possum. The Possum Queen herself along with Professor Potter and Professor Baird would tell us "true" stories about them. We even had a musuem at Frank Ford's. You were high cotton if you got to be in the parade that saturday.

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If you've ever gone by the nickname Squirrel, Duke, Critter, Cooter, Bubba, Slim, Skinny, Squatlow, Stretch, Snake, Butch, Jimbo, Buddy, Pig, Sonny, Lefty, Sparky, Porkchop, Squirt, Shorty, Fatty, Tubby, Toad, Tiny, Spanky, Shooter, Rumeye, Slappy, Goober, Buzz, Dinky, Digger, Frog, Fuzzy, Peanut, Hopscotch, Pooh, Donut, Slick or Turtle then you are most likely in.

 

 

Im a bubba and I once dated a two bagger and no she wasn't my cousin- yet.

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sissy is a butterface girl she got a nice body butterface is ugly

:lol:

Are you saying........She looks better leavin' than she does comin' back......................

 

* I own all rights to that sentence and will use it in the Backwater Anthem I'm writing..................................

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If you've ever gone by the nickname Squirrel, Duke, Critter, Cooter, Bubba, Slim, Skinny, Squatlow, Stretch, Snake, Butch, Jimbo, Buddy, Pig, Sonny, Lefty, Sparky, Porkchop, Squirt, Shorty, Fatty, Tubby, Toad, Tiny, Spanky, Shooter, Rumeye, Slappy, Goober, Buzz, Dinky, Digger, Frog, Fuzzy, Peanut, Hopscotch, Pooh, Donut, Slick or Turtle then you are most likely in.

 

You missed June bug, shrimp, dozer, and tank. And if your real name is Billy Bob, that should automatically qualify.

 

Some other qualifications:

 

1) If you city or county has a fair named after an animal or vegetable (Yamboree, Fire Ant Festival, Possum festival, etc.), automatic admittance.

 

2) If you have to check with your parents before you date a girl to make sure you're not kin to her, your in.

 

3) If your town is named after a tree or animal, you're in (White Oak, that means you).

 

4) If you got 4 generations buried in the community cemetary, you're in. (I got kinfolk in the Soule's Chapel Cemetary that were buried in the 1800s).

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You missed June bug, shrimp, dozer, and tank. And if your real name is Billy Bob, that should automatically qualify.

 

Some other qualifications:

 

1) If you city or county has a fair named after an animal or vegetable (Yamboree, Fire Ant Festival, Possum festival, etc.), automatic admittance.

 

2) If you have to check with your parents before you date a girl to make sure you're not kin to her, your in.

 

3) If your town is named after a tree or animal, you're in (White Oak, that means you).

 

4) If you got 4 generations buried in the community cemetary, you're in. (I got kinfolk in the Soule's Chapel Cemetary that were buried in the 1800s).

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If you've ever gone by the nickname Squirrel, Duke, Critter, Cooter, Bubba, Slim, Skinny, Squatlow, Stretch, Snake, Butch, Jimbo, Buddy, Pig, Sonny, Lefty, Sparky, Porkchop, Squirt, Shorty, Fatty, Tubby, Toad, Tiny, Spanky, Shooter, Rumeye, Slappy, Goober, Buzz, Dinky, Digger, Frog, Fuzzy, Peanut, Hopscotch, Pooh, Donut, Slick or Turtle then you are most likely in.

 

No lie they call me SPUD and my son is TATER TOT

 

 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 

 

Spud

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The key to not making a mistake in the dating game in Gilmer is to find out where the kinfolk come from. See, my kinfolk come from Simpsonville and Soul's Chapel. So if I meet anyone else whose kinfolk come from there, I already knows we're related to each other somehow. But if their kin was from Indian Rock or Pritchett, I figure it's safe to date 'em. Anyone in Upshur County knows what I'm talkin about.

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Young shark swimmin with his granpaw shark., Grandpaw asked him what he wanted to eat. Young shark said,,"I want some 'human',,, hadn't had any human in a long time. Grandpaw says,, ok, great,, there's some over there near that beach. so over there they went. The young shark made a mad dash towards them,, but Grandpaw, yelled WHOA there youngan',,,not yet. Young shark said "Why Grandpaw, I'm hungry",,, GP said,,, we needs to circle em 5 times with half our fins showin,, so they did. The youngin' was about to attack again,, and GP said,, wait wait,, now we need to move in to about ten feet,, and circle them again 5 times with our whole fin showing. So they did. When they were through,, GP said,, "alright,, go get eml' ". When they gots through eatin',,, the young shark said,,, man,,, that was the best human I ever had GP,,, but why did we have to circle em so much. GP said,,, "Humans always taste better once you get the poop out of em".

 

Now tellin a joke like that,, should get my whole family in on an honorary basis for having to live with me. LOL

 

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Well if being from the sprawling metropolis of Rusk Tx ain't enough. My pa once showed up at the school house and took my lunch money because he said he needed some snuff. But I forgave him because he showed me the secret of puttin a goats back legs into your boots. We used to go hog huntin every night just so we could trade em off to the Hispanics in New Summerfield for Col Beer. Those was the good 'ol days for they put me in this here hospital sittin on the hill

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Well if being from the sprawling metropolis of Rusk Tx ain't enough. My pa once showed up at the school house and took my lunch money because he said he needed some snuff. But I forgave him because he showed me the secret of puttin a goats back legs into your boots. We used to go hog huntin every night just so we could trade em off to the Hispanics in New Summerfield for Col Beer. Those was the good 'ol days for they put me in this here hospital sittin on the hill

 

in

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