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A blonde called her boyfriend and said, Please come over here and help me.  I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out, or even how to get started.  The boyfriend ask, What is it suppose

A nice, calm, respectable lady went into the pharmacy and went to the Pharmacist, looked into his eyes and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide". The Pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need

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A high achiever walked into a bar. It wasn't set high enough.

.... Badoom, Crash!!!! That was Stoneroo, folks; He'll be tellin' Jokes Alllll week here at SDC! 😜
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Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car wreck?

 

He's all right now.

😂
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Two olives were hanging out on a table. One olive fell off. The olive on the table asks the other one if he's okay? The one on the floor says "Ol live".

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Two olives were hanging out on a table. One olive fell off. The olive on the table asks the other one if he's okay? The one on the floor says "Ol live".

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Y'all hear about the paddy-wagon collided with the cement mixer?

 

Twelve hardened criminals excaped.

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Did Y'all hear about the Mexican magician who could disappear? He'd count "uno, dos" then poof he was gone without a tres.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Feel as if I have been transported back to the 70's and am having to listen to a BAD Gene Tracy 8 track tape!!!

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Billy Bob was the greatest running back ever at Texas A&M and the whole of college football. He'd set virtually every record possible and had led them to a National Championship. With his college football over, he had decided he wanted to graduate with a degree, so he visited the Chancellor. Chancellor said, Billy Bob, why the visit? Billy Bob explained his desire for a degree. The Chancellor said, Billy Bob, while you were a wizard at football, your performance in the classroom was less than adequate. I can't do it. The word got around campus, and to the alumni, to whom Billy Bob was like a God. The Chancellor was besieged with requests and demands. To Biily Bob's surprise, he was summoned to the Chancellor's office. The Chancellor told him about the overwhelming support, and that he had reconsidered. He said, here's the deal. Saturday at noon in the middle of Kyle Field, I'll give you a one question quiz. If you answer correctly, you'll get your degree and graduate. Billy Bob was elated.

 

So Saturday at noon, the stage was set. The stands were full of 102,000 students and alumni, and the Stadium speakers were hooked up to the microphone. The Chancellor, after praising all in attendance, said, ok Billy Bob, here's the question, and take your time, What is three times nine? Billy Bob went deep in thought. His brow was creased. After a minute or so, sweat started flowing down his face. The crowd, feeling empathy for him started chanting in unison, "Hey Hey what'd say, give'em a degree Anyway", over and over. Finally the Chancellor ask for quiet, and told Billy Bob he needed the answer. Billy Bob thot and thot, as the murmurs from the crowd increased. All of a sudden Billy Bob's face lit up, and he shouted, I Got It. I Got It. You could've heard a pin drop. Billy Bob shouted, "The answer is 27". Immediately, all 102,000 in the crowd of students and alumni roared in one voice, "Give him another chance". "Give him another chance".

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Billy Bob was the greatest running back ever at Texas A&M and the whole of college football. He'd set virtually every record possible and had led them to a National Championship. With his college football over, he had decided he wanted to graduate with a degree, so he visited the Chancellor. Chancellor said, Billy Bob, why the visit? Billy Bob explained his desire for a degree. The Chancellor said, Billy Bob, while you were a wizard at football, your performance in the classroom was less than adequate. I can't do it. The word got around campus, and to the alumni, to whom Billy Bob was like a God. The Chancellor was besieged with requests and demands. To Biily Bob's surprise, he was summoned to the Chancellor's office. The Chancellor told him about the overwhelming support, and that he had reconsidered. He said, here's the deal. Saturday at noon in the middle of Kyle Field, I'll give you a one question quiz. If you answer correctly, you'll get your degree and graduate. Billy Bob was elated.

 

So Saturday at noon, the stage was set. The stands were full of 102,000 students and alumni, and the Stadium speakers were hooked up to the microphone. The Chancellor, after praising all in attendance, said, ok Billy Bob, here's the question, and take your time, What is three times nine? Billy Bob went deep in thought. His browned was creased. After a minute or so, sweat started flowing down his face. The crowd, feeling empathy for him started chanting in unison, "Hey Hey what'd say, give'em a degree Anyway", over and over. Finally the Chancellor ask for quiet, and told Billy Bob he needed the answer. Billy Bob thot and thot, as the murmurs from the crowd increased. All of a sudden Billy Bob's face lit up, and he shouted, I Got It. I Got It. You could've heard a pin drop. Billy Bob shouted, "The answer is 27". Immediately, all 102,000 in the crowd of students and alumni roared in one voice, "Give him another chance". "Give him another chance".

"GUHHH-FAAAAAWWWW!!!! Didn't see That comin' REB!😋
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^^^^^ That's my new favorite Aggie joke, REB!

We have a talk radio station down here, KLVI AM56 (LVI = 56 in Roman - your trivia tip of the day lol). Guy on the morning show, Al Caldwell, from NY, started as a DJ when I was a young man. He's like me, older than dirt. I listened to him every morning on the way to work. He told that joke about a month before I retired. I was laughing so hard I had trouble keeping my old pickup on the pavement. It's a classic :)

 

Btw, I posted it on the other site first, & a friend of mine who's a UT grad replied, "I started laughing when I read A&M won the National Championship. I thought that was the funny part". Lol, that was pretty funny to.

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What do call a dog with no legs? It don't matter what you call him, he aint comin'!

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How many Aggies does it take to change a light bulb? 301... One to hold the bulb & 300 to turn the house.

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A nice, calm, respectable lady went into the pharmacy and went to the Pharmacist, looked into his eyes and said,

"I'd like to buy some cyanide".

The Pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide"?

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband".

The Pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license. They'll throw both of us in jail. All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide".

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.

The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription".

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