KirtFalcon Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? DONALD TRUMP: I've been told my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is. Joe Biden: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest. SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves. JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road? And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoyzNdaHood Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 So this is what retirement looks like? Why don't you go volunteer some of your wasted time instead of making trump look stupider than he already does without your help.... Trumps real answer to why did the chicken cross the road is--- "I invented the road and gave the chicken permission" , or, " if he was like me he thought stormy Daniel's was over there and had to go get some of dat" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirtFalcon Posted April 21, 2020 Author Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, JETT said: So this is what retirement looks like? Why don't you go volunteer some of your wasted time instead of making trump look stupider than he already does without your help.... Trumps real answer to why did the chicken cross the road is--- "I invented the road and gave the chicken permission" , or, " if he was like me he thought stormy Daniel's was over there and had to go get it" Glad you are awake ...Ā You left out Russian collusionĀ ....Ā Edited April 21, 2020 by KirtFalcon yo mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoyzNdaHood Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 5 minutes ago, KirtFalcon said: Glad you are awake ...Ā me 2 what a beautiful dayĀ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 54 minutes ago, KirtFalcon said: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? DONALD TRUMP: I've been told my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is. Joe Biden: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest. SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves. JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road? And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? NANCY PELOSI: The chicken crossed the road so it could see what was in it.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 hour ago, JETT said: So this is what retirement looks like? Why don't you go volunteer some of your wasted time instead of making trump look stupider than he already does without your help.... Trumps real answer to why did the chicken cross the road is--- "I invented the road and gave the chicken permission" , or, " if he was like me he thought stormy Daniel's was over there and had to go get some of dat" Really, you think that Trump would say he invented the road--I guess you haven't heard, only AL GORE invents stuff--like the internet. OMG read it as a joke instead of letting your hate for one person ruin your life. TDS!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Some other ones you left out: JFK--Ask not what your chickenĀ can do for you, but what you can do for your chicken. MLK--I have a dream, that all chickens will be created equal.Ā 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoyzNdaHood Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 17 minutes ago, DannyZuco said: Really, you think that Trump would say he invented the road--I guess you haven't heard, only AL GORE invents stuff--like the internet. OMG read it as a joke instead of letting your hate for one person ruin your life. TDS!!!!! It was a joke, your the only one offended sounds likeĀ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Custer--Look at all those freaking Chickens Lincoln--Four Score and 7 Chickens ago, ..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Thomas Jefferson--The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of RoostersĀ and Chickens. FDR--December 7. 1941--a day that will live in infamy--A chicken suddenly and deliberately crossed the road. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 minute ago, DannyZuco said: Thomas Jefferson--The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of RoostersĀ and Chickens. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, CarthDawg77 said: Abraham Lincoln:āFour Score And Seven chickens ago.....ā 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 While I am sitting here in a zoom meeting, this is fun to do. I love doing these things. LOLĀ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Danny Zuco's final song in Grease--I've got chickens and they're multiplying, and I'm loooosing control.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoyzNdaHood Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Raiderfan7000 said: Stupider? Phone didn't auto correct so I went with itĀ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Neil Armstrong--One small step for chicken, One giant leap for chickenkind.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Patrick Henry-Give me Chicken, or give me death Nathan Hale--I only regret that IĀ have but one ChickenĀ to lose for my country. Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 9 hours ago, DannyZuco said: Neil Armstrong--One small step for chicken, One giant leap for chickenkind.Ā I almost posted that same thought earlier, verbatim, no less! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 āDamn the chickens; Full Speed Ahead!ā- David Farragut 1864 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 6 minutes ago, CarthDawg77 said: I almost posted that same thought earlier, verbatim, no less! You've gotta act fast when these things are coming out.Ā Bernie Sanders--Democratic socialism means that we must reform a political system that is corrupt, that we must create an economy that works for all, not just the very chicken. Ā Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 World War 2 General Anthony McAuliffe--"Chickens" Forrest Gump--Mama always said that life was like a box of chicken Star Wars--May the Chicken be with you! A wholeĀ Ā load of movies--My name is Chicken, James Chicken. Gone with the wind--Frankly my dear, I don't give a chicken.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarthDawg77 Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 12 minutes ago, DannyZuco said: World War 2 General Anthony McAuliffe--"Chickens" Forrest Gump--Mama always said that life was like a box of chicken Star Wars--May the Chicken be with you! A wholeĀ Ā load of movies--My name is Chicken, James Chicken. Gone with the wind--Frankly my dear, I don't give a chicken.Ā āGive me Chicken, or give me Death!ā āFrankly, Scarlett, I donāt give a chicken...ā āWhy, Johnny Ringo, you like someone just walked on your Chiken.ā... or āRun, Chicken... Run!ā 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 Joe Biden--Iowa 2020--"You're a damn liar, chicken" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell "Aināt No Mountain High Enough" "Donāt you know thatĀ there aināt no mountain high enough.Ā Aināt no valley low enough, aināt no river wide enough.Ā To keep me from getting to chicken, baby."Ā 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyZuco Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 -Ā John LennonĀ "Imagine" Ā "You may say I'm a chicken. But I'm not the only one."Ā 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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