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YOUR FAVORITE CHUCK NORRIS FACT


sweatysoxxx

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this is off another thing and its my favorite

 

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

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top 2...

 

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a flipping Indian.

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lol its goes something like this ...

 

one day on the set of walker texas ranger, a baby lamb as born stilborn, chuck norris then proceded to give the baby lamb a prolonged beard rub, bringing the baby lamb back to life, immediatly after he did this, chuck norris gave the baby lamb a patented roundhouse kick to the neck, killing it instantly, just to show that the good chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh away.

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Originally posted by jgrammer0429

lol its goes something like this ...

 

one day on the set of walker texas ranger, a baby lamb as born stilborn, chuck norris then proceded to give the baby lamb a prolonged beard rub, bringing the baby lamb back to life, immediatly after he did this, chuck norris gave the baby lamb a patented roundhouse kick to the neck, killing it instantly, just to show that the good chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh away.

LOL sorry i said it from memory...haha:w00t:
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Chuck Norris had an illigitimate child.............today we know him as Vince Young.

 

We once threw a bachelor party for Chuck. He ate the giant cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

 

Chuck Norris once ate 4, 72 oz. steaks in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes making "whoopie" with his waitress

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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

 

 

 

 

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

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Guest CNOrtega

The original script for the movie, Zoolander, had Chuck Norris playing the part of Derek Zoolander. When filming the "Magnum" scene, the look that Norris gave instantly exploded the hearts of all humans in attendance. Only Owen Wilson survived, and that's why his nose is screwed up.

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Originally posted by CNOrtega

The original script for the movie, Zoolander, had Chuck Norris playing the part of Derek Zoolander. When filming the "Magnum" scene, the look that Norris gave instantly exploded the hearts of all humans in attendance. Only Owen Wilson survived, and that's why his nose is screwed up.

 

Haven't heard that one:w00t:

 

El Nino is now known to be a by product of Chuck Norris swimming the Atlantic.

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