Doomer Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She's starting to sound just like my wife. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SloppyJoe Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETIREDFAN1 Posted May 20 Share Posted May 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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SloppyJoe Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife? Nothing, he was gladiator! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETIREDFAN1 Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RETIREDFAN1 Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 On 5/28/2024 at 4:00 PM, RETIREDFAN1 said: On 5/29/2024 at 12:40 PM, RETIREDFAN1 said: I guess we don't have any detectives on this site..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETIREDFAN1 Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper Also read https://levelup-flow.com/postman-brings-cheer-to-people-with-funny-costumes-during-lockdown/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETIREDFAN1 Posted June 15 Share Posted June 15 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Doomer Posted June 17 Author Share Posted June 17 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Hayseed Posted June 19 Share Posted June 19 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETIREDFAN1 Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" FROM THE LATE GREAT RAY BAKER. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doomer Posted June 24 Author Share Posted June 24 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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