Reveille VIII, the Ferret

[maroakie2]

From today's Battalion:

 

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Rant | The ferret, the tortoise and the mascot

The search for Reveille VIII should not be exclusive to canines

 

By: James Cavin

There's been a lot of talk lately about the next Reveille, with people arguing for everything from another collie to a shih tzu. While I think the debate fosters some healthy questions, I am afraid that it has not gone far enough. It's time we think outside the box.

 

Now, adopting a mutt from the pound may go some way toward showing the inclusiveness of the Aggie Spirit, but we're still being ridiculously exclusive. I mean, there's a whole wide world out there. If we really want to show the diversity and open-mindedness of Aggieland, we should choose a first lady from a less privileged species.

 

Far be it from me to value one creature over another, but I have compiled a list of what I believe to be promising candidates for the position of first lady of Texas A&M, based on practicality, originality and all-around awesomeness:

 

Reveille VIII, the ferret. A lady ferret is an excellent choice for several reasons. Firstly, black footed ferrets are indigenous to the great state of Texas, meaning we'll have a native in office instead of an inbred - I mean - purebred foreigner. Furthermore, a ferret not only could continue the tradition of biting her handler in the groin as started by Reveille VII, but could actually improve upon the practice by running up his pants leg to do so. Plus, ferrets are trainable, meaning Reveille VIII could do this on command to opposing coaches and players. Nothing says "Redass" like a rabid weasel removing hippies from the gene pool. While these are definitely persuasive arguments, what really cinched it for me was ferrets' natural abilities against bovines. According to various urban rumors, packs of feral ferrets are capable of tipping, killing and devouring an entire cow. While I can't speak to the veracity of these claims, I can guarantee you it'll give Bevo some sleepless nights.

 

Reveille VIII, the parakeet. Small, portable, stylish and capable of actually learning and repeating the Aggie War Hymn, as well as cussing out referees at games. She could even be taught to bark in class.

 

Reveille VIII, the houseplant. This approach has many possibilities: a stoic, contemplative bonzai tree, festive palms or even local flora like the humble-yet-delicious-when-used-to-barbecue mesquite, which would lend itself quite nicely to our rivalry with that other school. Many people may claim that a plant is too static and boring to successfully represent a university, but what about the Century Tree? One of our school's greatest and most respected images is a plant, so choosing a mascot outside of the animal kingdom doesn't seem such a stretch to me. I personally favor the idea of something custom created for the position. We are, after all, an agricultural school. If we can manage to genetically engineer maroon-colored carrots, then a gigantic Fightin' Texas Aggie maroon-colored t-sip-chomping Venus fly trap can't be all that hard to make. While a 12-foot-tall immobile man-eating plant may require a little more care than previous Reveilles, she already has her own cell phone and student ID card. Would a personal vehicle and a few sacrificial virgins every now and then be too much to ask for our first lady? I think not. For the record, though, I wouldn't try proposing under it.

 

Reveille VIII, the Fightin' Texas Aggie Galapagos Tortoise. This is definitely one of the most alluring suggestions I have heard so far. Nothing can quite capture the majesty, tradition, history and permanency of Aggieland like this quiet giant, slowly lumbering its way to the opposing end zone. While certain traditions might need to be slightly modified (instead of getting class off if Reveille barks, you'll get class off if Reveille moves), I believe the pros vastly outweigh the cons. Natural armor would make the first lady virtually impossible to assassinate (which is much more of a risk than you would think, what with all those packs of feral ferrets and everything). Plus, our mascot could double as another statue - two for one! Best of all, as several of my colleagues pointed out, choosing a Galapagos Tortoise for Reveille VIII means we won't have this debate again for another 150 years.

[Guest bleeds]

I may throw up.

[maroakie2]

Make no mistake, Bleeds. By no means am I advocating a ferret, or any other exotic mascot for that matter. I think he intented it more as a satirical piece, or at least that's how I'm going to choose to look at it. I found it pretty entertaining. I'm all for another collie, regardless of all of the faults of Rev VII, just because that's what has become the tradition with the last 5.

[Guest bleeds]

the title was enough fairyoakie. Reveille was and will be Man's best friend. Now that as a society, we have

a group of undecideds(neither male or female), then your post makes sense.

 

 

Oh look, JTroll is back.

[maroakie2]

the title was enough fairyoakie. Reveille was and will be Man's best friend. Now that as a society, we have

a group of undecideds(neither male or female), then your post makes sense.

 

 

And...unfortunately, yours does not.

[Guest bleeds]

Make no mistake, Bleeds. By no means am I advocating a ferret, or any other exotic mascot for that matter. I think he intented it more as a satirical piece, or at least that's how I'm going to choose to look at it. I found it pretty entertaining. I'm all for another collie, regardless of all of the faults of Rev VII, just because that's what has become the tradition with the last 5.

 

 

Oh I know. But it seems like more and more of the traditions are being done away with these days.

[Guest bleeds]

... until reality is no more. Breeds, it seems that you at least have some sense of reason. Maybe some

day you can learn to use it.

 

Thank you oh great one for seeing past my inadequacies to what may lie in store for me in the future.

 

[maroakie2]

Oh I know. But it seems like more and more of the traditions are being done away with these days.

 

 

Agreed. I guess that's what happens when they push the huge diversity issue like they are, and I fear it will only get worse.

[base_baller]

I'm all for Reveille VIII --- the Chinchilla.

 

Actually, that is a joke.

 

Reveille VIII - The collie.

 

Aggieland is definitely not the place to have such a huge diversity squabble. It is known for being arguably the most conservative university in the world.

 

Thanks & Gig 'Em! :thumbsup:

[chase.colston]

I stopped reading after "awesomeness."

[Immortal13]

A sheep should be somewhere on that list. :thumbsup:

[WildcatPride]

A sheep should be somewhere on that list. :thumbsup:

That's funny coming from someone from Berkeley East. (Seinfeld voce) Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that.

:thumbsup: Gig 'Em back at you. :thumbsup:

 

Given that Rev I was a mutt, I would be OK with that. But the golden collie has become the icon.

[Immortal13]

That's funny coming from someone from Berkeley East. (Seinfeld voce) Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that.

:thumbsup: Gig 'Em back at you. :thumbsup:

 

I'm sorry. I never meant to imply that aggies would do anything improper or unnatural with a farm animal :rolleyes:

 

I just thought instead of trying to find a new mascot every few years, you could just use the old sheep-cloning machine.